My Solo

Everything I’ve hated about myself
I take to the stage.
What people see as a shimmering star
is uncertainty glistening off me.
They can’t see my hands shaking
the sweat from my palms.
Hyperventilating
drowned by their anticipation.
All falls silent,
the same it felt while
steadying my hand to write.

I lose myself.

Their heartstrings
strummed at my fingers.
The words,
too embarrassed to share,
speak to them.
By the end of the performance,
their applause
remind me of the sound
my tears make when hitting the floor.
At the end, I still walk away alone.

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